Secular Calendar

Can I even do this without Easter,
I ask myself, putting the car into park,

that last moment when the baby
is no one's responsibility but the car seat's--

meanwhile all Holy Week, Sudafed

& antibiotics & candy & Photoshop
& candy & fingernails & ribbon
& Jane &  Providence, that mental stillness

of my childhood bedroom & Paul

in Brooklyn & my mom doing childcare
& my ears so congested that the silence

was real, for once

I didn't write it, I told myself to wait

but it was Holy Week, not April
it was Providence
& loneliness

& illness

Holy Thursday, setting out for the PF Chang's at the mall

we met the Easter Bunny--me, and Mom, and Jane--

he hopped right up to us, he was so friendly, we were full of wonder
but he got so close, he seemed so unafraid, he was a wild

brown rabbit but he got so close to Jane & finally I jerked

wide & sudden and he leapt off and Mom was worried

and Jane was worried because we were worried

and I said oh he's just going home to work on your Easter basket

get in the car so you know, as Sandra's baby cousin said in 1996

don't wait, don't waste time, right, just let the little creetcha in