Less Finesse, More Spank

for Tasia

less velvet, more velour

less Dom Pérignon, more Andre

less diamond, more cubic zirconia

less Twin Peaks, more Ru Paul's Drag Race

less sunlight, more Faux Glow

less sugar, more Splenda

less manchego, more Velveeta

less treadmill, more Skechers Shape-Ups

less lemon, more Manic Panic

less perfect pitch, more Auto-Tune

less grass-fed beef, more T.G.I. Friday's frozen appetizers

less cafe, more Facebook

etcetera